@EggDef - @Aalasteir (Q) - Index

Q: How would you describe your personality?

Oh boy, here we go.

How would I describe my personality? If you would have asked me 4 years ago I would have said either it was dog shit or that it didn’t exist. Now, though, I’d say I’m just an average guy. I’m a bit quiet usually, but I can get real rowdy and loud if I’m comfortable around you. I can be a bit dark and you’ll learn that quickly because of the way I speak and joke around, however despite that I’d say I’ve been becoming more and more of an optimist as the years go on. I can see the humor in a lot of things and I’m always looking to have a good time. I’m very lazy and unmotivated most of the time, I think that’s an important thing to mention about myself. They are both things I need to/have been working on. If I had to sum my personality in the words as of today, I’d penalty day dark and lazy, but fun.

Q: How do you feel that being in a vehicle crash at 6 years old, in which the van rolled 7-8 times, has affected you? Also, how does the medium-sized scar at the base of your pinky, from a large piece of glass cutting into it, shape your view of the world and yourself?

The van flipping was definitely something else. I’d never had something like that hasten to me up to that point. It all happened too fast for me to be scared at the time, I was honestly just confused. I also didn’t go through too much pain at the time despite the glass in my hands and face, probably due to adrenaline. They pulled me out the back of the van and I just sort of laid there and tried to comprehend what just happened. As I grew older I started to think it was kind of a cool experience to have. It most certainly wasn’t cool for some of my family in the van, but for me it sort of became just a fun thing to bring up in classes or to new friends. “Has anything interesting ever happened to you?” “Well I was in a van that rolled 8 times.” “Jesus Christ!” Lmao. The scar is cool. It’s medium in size going from the base of my pinky to about half way up and it’s jagged. I’ve always thought of it as a little something to make me unique. Again, when I was a kid I saw it as something to show off. Although nowadays when I look at it it mostly reminds me of how fragile things really are and how I should consider myself luck to wake you everyday. Anyone in that van could have died, one came very close in fact, but we all pulled through and that’s really something in my opinion. Luckily it never made me scared of driving. I actually became more scared of being in a vehicle when I started driving at 16 than I ever was from the accident. I don’t like not being in control of the vehicle I’m in.

- Sexual Abuse

I have a fucked up sense of sexuality that I struggled heavily with up until a few years ago. The reason for this is because of two specific people who molested me at young ages. When I was younger my grandmother owned a daycare/child learning center that hosted babies-5th graders. When I was about 5 years old one of the 5th grade girls took an interest in me and would get me to finger her all the time in hidden places on the playground. Then when I was in 4th grade, a much larger 7th grade boy I became friends with because we rode the same bus turned things very sexual very quickly and I just went with it because I still didn’t understand what was going on at that age and I was used to that kind of “friendship” at that point.

Q: How do you feel being sexual abused has affected? You how did you make process the trauma, and what would be your advice for people who been molested?

For a long, long time I didn’t even consider myself to be a victim of sexual abuse. I’d hear people talk about it in movies, or I’d have people tell me about the times they went through it and I never felt like I could relate. They all hated it and didn’t want it to happen to them, and that’s not exactly how I felt about my situations so I never connected the dots. I was always excited about being abused. I saw it as a little secret I could participate in. Just a little something for only me to know. However while talking about the topic while absolutely stoned out of my mind one night I realized how fucked the whole situation was and why I felt that way. The girl who molested me in the child learning center my grandma owned wrapped my mind in a way. I was awoken to something I shouldn’t have even known about at such a young age and it really wasn’t healthy. I became a hypersexual being. From ages 6-18 I was an absolute deviant. All I wanted at all times was sexual interaction. Not even sexual satisfaction, because I never got that from my interactions. I just wanted to be in sexual situations at all times. It led me to doing things I’m ashamed of and to doing things I would never do today. I’m a straight man, and I know that for a fact because I’m had gay interactions in my childhood that I didn’t enjoy, but I craved the sexual touch so much I would participate in gay actions that I didn’t even enjoy. As someone who has been addicted to certain drugs, sexual interaction was sort of like my first drug. Having friends, both male and female, was hard for me because all I could think about when hanging out with them one on one was how I could get them out of their pants. Once I came to the realization that I was being molested by multiple people throughout my childhood, I became a bit angry. A lot of bad things from my childhood could have been avoided completely if it wasn’t for that girl. In fact, the two things I regret most in life never would have happened. After coming to the realization, I continued to struggle with my sexual problems for a few years and wasted a lot of time and money on prostitutes. At 19 I got my first real girlfriend and the two of us were sex machines. Just constant, multiple times a night. Eventually I guess I just finally worked that sex obsession out of my system. It naturally happened over the course of a year but by having constant access to sexual touch I finally realized it’s not all that important. I’ve sexually calmed down quite a bit since then and am much more comfortable now. All that being said, I hold no ill-will towards the girl that started it all. She was only in the 5th grade so I can’t help but come to the conclusion that she was being molested or raped herself. She was most likely getting it a lot worse than me too. If anything I feel bad for her and I hope she’s managed to cope as she’s grown.

- College

I put college dropout as my education on my account, but I don’t often talk about why I dropped out. I got really sick towards the end of my first semester and missed a week and a half of class. I think it was covid before covid became a big thing and was just starting up. I was running a fever and puking constantly for a full week, and then just running a fever for another half a week. It was rough. But my two most important classes had rules that dropped your grade by 10% everyday you missed after your third absence. So by the time I got better my grades were too far gone for those classes. Well, I was already frustrated with those classes because I felt like I wasn’t actually learning anything so I just decided to drop out instead of spending more time and money retaking them. I was going to college to learn animation.

Q: What was it like being at college? What were the problems with the college where you feel you didn't learn anything?

College was awesome. It might have been the best time period in my life. I got my first real taste of proper independence and it was incredible. I loved living on campus. That was probably the biggest thing for me. Moving away from home and being alone in my dorm was great. My dorm was also directly above a sushi bar! I loved walking around campus and exploring the buildings. Campus was just so cool. I miss the food court as well. Towards the end of my stay in college I would wake up at 5pm and then go get breakfast from the food court at 8am before going to bed. The did was really good and that little trip to the food court became the highlight of my day for a while. I also had a proper group to play D&D with for the first time. That was a great time.

As far as my problems with my classes go, I didn’t feel like I was learning anything. Specifically my two most important classes, Art and Design. They were both three hour classes where we would walk in and the teacher would just say, “ok now draw.” That was it. No tips, no lesson, we just drew by ourselves for three hours. It was lame man.

Q: Why did you want to learn animation?

Ive always been fascinated in animation. I think it’s a very impressive thing to be good at. I already like drawing random shit, so I feel it’s only natural I’d have a want to bring said random shit to life. I think animation is one of the greatest forms of creative expression, but I’ve always been too lazy to learn its fundamentals. I was hoping that by paying for it and taking proper classes I’d finally get over that hurdle. After college I didn’t completely give up on animation. I just recently put out my first real, finished animated project recently on this very site. I’m still too lazy to learn the correct way, but I’ve started brute forcing myself into improving same as I do with drawing.

Q: Your experience with drugs, what advice would you give to people dealing with substance use?

When it comes to drugs, it’s simple. Do your drugs and have your fun. Just stay away from the stuff that actively kills you. My advice for drug users would be to limit yourself and be aware of everything you’re taking. I fucked myself up incredibly bad by trying to push my limits when it came to drugs and by not paying attention to the amounts I was taking. I’m not going to tell you to not do drugs, just please be careful.

Q: What do you like about creating art, and what are the elements that make it interesting to you? What do you think art represents?

I think art represents the parts of us that make us human. I don’t know if I believe in a soul, but when I look at a person’s artistic creations I can see why a lot of people do. Personally, I don’t put a lot of thought into my artistic endeavors. I just draw whatever I think will look interesting. It’s truly as simple as that. But even when someone like me makes art, you can see a deep piece of them. A piece they can’t normally show. And I think that’s incredible. I also think creating art can be insanely satisfying. Seeing your finished work after working hard on it for hours feels great. And looking back at your old art and seeing how much you’ve improved is unlike any other feeling.

Q: What games do you like? What do you like to see in games, and what makes a game good?

A game is good if you like it. That’s it. There are games that I think are awful and I would never play that my friends really enjoy, and even though I personally think they are terrible I know they must be good in some way because my friends just absolutely love them. I think games can be both good and bad at the same time, it ask depends on the person playing them. A prime example of this: Falllout 4. Fallout 4 is one of my favorite games of all time. I have 500 hours in it as of writing this. A lot of people think Fallout 4 is one of the worst games ever made, and when they explain why I think they have valid points. That doesn’t stop it from being a fantastic game to me though. Other great games I play would be Terraria, Red Dead Redemption 2, Persona 3 and 5, and Minecraft. For some games I look for the ability to express yourself. Other games I look for a good story and characters. And sometimes a game is good because it just feels great to play. I think there are many aspects that can easily make or break a game.

Q: Where does your interest in missing persons, unsolved mysteries, and murders come from? What elements deeply fascinate you about these topics?

I honestly couldn’t tell you why I’m so into missing persons. The idea of a person just up and disappearing is so wild. Like I think it’s insane that not only does this happen, but it’s happening constantly. That’s just not a thing that should exist and yet it does. The mystery behind these cases can also be extremely gripping. I guess my fascination with murder comes down to two things: bloody details and psyche. I know it’s fucked up to say this, but I enjoy hearing all the bloody details of horrific events. I like being disturbed and disgusted and upset by them. There’s also the case of a murderer’s psyche. What makes them tick and why do they do the things they do? It’s just really interesting finding out why they are the way they are.

Q: A story of how you create it you account on 6/30/20, and what was your reason for joining? How did you choose the name: @EggDef what do you like about eggs?

I’ve been using Newgrounds since 2008 when I was 7 years old. I found it looking for sexy dress up games where you can strip the characters and ended up just really liking everything else the site had to offer. I think I made my first account when I was around 9. Somehow I was never banned for being underaged and I became an active member of the website. Eventually I left that account for a new one because so much of my post history was embarrassing. Since then I’ve gone through probably 5 different accounts. Constant rebranding and attempting to separate myself from the things I said in the past. I made this account in 2020 to migrate to, but for the first time it wasn’t out of embarrassment. I just really wanted a different username because I grew to dislike the one I used. Couldn’t afford to become a supporter and change it that way. But despite the constantly changing name, I’ve basically always been here. I did take a 2 year break from the site from 2022 to the beginning of this year, but goddammit I just couldn’t help but come crawling back.

My love of eggs actually has nothing to do with my name, although I am a big fan of them. Particularly scrambled eggs with cheese and a mine bit of ketchup. The name actually comes from my nickname my friends call me, which is Egg. They call me that because my real name sort of sounds like the words egg sandwich when you say it a certain way. I just added Def to the end to spice it up I guess. The Def doesn’t actually mean anything.

Q: How do you feel about the General Forums being shut down? You mentioned that General was the greatest part of the website. What are the elements that you liked about it?

It was very upsetting coming back to the site and finding the general forums being discontinued. It genuinely was my favorite part of the website for a long time. I don’t socialize much in my personal life, so coming in here to talk and shitpost was/is important to me. Supporter party is basically the same thing as general, so it’s been ok for the most part and I’ve been able to get over losing my beloved forum, but I can’t always afford to be a supporter so there’s a chance I’ll go crazy one of these days when I lose access to supporter party. Overall I just really enjoyed the casual chitchat we had going in general.

Q: What do you think about gambling?

I think gambling is badass! It’s a healthy habit to develop and everyone should try it out at least once. Except for slots. Slots fucking suck. I’m decent at blackjack and Texas holdem, but my problem is I don’t know when to cash out.

Q: What do you like about creating animations?

I like the idea of animating more than the actual process of doing it. Bringing your idea to life in motion is so cool, but god is it boring and hard. And like I said at the very beginning of this interview I am a lazy person. I almost went insane making my Castle Crashers video and it’s literally only 7 seconds long.

Q: What is it like to use the BBS? What are the BBS about, and what is your advice for the BBS?

The BBS is great. I’m glad they never removed it from the site. I thought they would have by now. I like the community this site has cultivated and I like being able to socialize in some way shape or form.

Q: Your advice for being a person

My advice for being a person is to try your hardest to treat people well. I used to be an angry little shit. I was mean to people and I hated everybody. I’m telling you, one you start being nice and enjoying people for what they are instead of harshly judging life truly gets better. I’d also like to say not to be too hard on yourself. I know shit is rough, and I know it can be hard to be satisfied with who you are and where you’re going in life. But it’s not worth the mental toll to beat yourself up. I’ve been through it. I was horribly depressed and suicidal for a lot of my life. You have to learn that you can’t control some things and that you aren’t to blame for every little shitty thing that happens. Be kind to yourself.